Part 5 - I took my exams too seriously..obviously they didnt!LOL!

Part 6- I took my exams too seriously..obviously they didnt!LOL!

Poop for peace

Just came across this on facebook..hilarious!LOL!...readon!

The east hates the west. The Christians hate the Muslims. The liberals hate the conservatives. The Sunnis hate the Shiites. All across the globe, the chasm dividing humanity is ever deeper. In all the world's wars against terror, the distinction of who is perpetrating which depends on what side you ask -- so divided are we as a species that we can't even agree why we're killing each other.

For there to be peace, there must be understanding. For there to be understanding, there must be a common ground. But the further the chasm deepens, the more fundamental to basic human nature the common ground has to be.

And so April 18 is Poop For Peace Day.

Poop is the one experience all human beings have in common. We may have varying ideas of God and politics, but the power of an impending poop is a higher calling to which every human must answer. Side by side in a public bathroom, any two human beings are stripped of their differences and reduced to their most basic essence: a pair of feet sticking out below the stall, and a pair of butt trumpets performing a greasy symphony to lament humanity's non-negotiable deference to the call of the vile.

Under the influence of Taco Bell, there is no Christian or Muslim or Jew. There are only human bodies, reacting to the complications of digestion in the same predictable and malodorous ways. Poop wields supreme power over our bodies -- when poop calls, you answer, or you face the consequences. Poop is our cruel tyrant, our fickle deity, our omnipotent oppressor -- it is a force to which every human being has no choice but to submit.

And recognizing this is the first step toward world peace.

Poop For Peace Day is not a day of protest. Pooping for peace is not a left-wing or right-wing activity. Pooping for peace is an act of unity. It's not about religion or politics. Rather, it's about the simple truth: underlying our religions and our politics are universal needs, wants and desires. To poop for peace is to transcend arbitrary divisions and embrace that which makes us human. Only from starting at such a fundamental truism can we hope to expand our understandings and solve our differences.

On April 18, take some time to think when you take your time to stink. Think of yourself on your toilet, and George W. Bush on his, and Osama and Ahmadinejad and Chavez on theirs. Think about the children of Iraq and the children of America, and realize that while their skins are different colors and their gods have different names, their daily ritual is exactly the same. We all poop, which means we're all human, which means we're all brothers and sisters. Any other differences are arbitrary -- we are all united in the daily struggle against the tyranny of the bowel.

Typing dehavu

Ohkay I am gonna try a crazy thing here never attempted before i.e. typing whatever I am thinking while I am typing, so lets start :

_empty_nothought_absolutelynothing_ohkay_here_itgoes_i think_nups_still_nothing_wow_there_you go :

man.man what are you doin..get back to ytour thesis (audible guilt pang)..i think i should be able to get the literature review done in about 2 months or so..fuck what are they showin on MTV..this worlds gonna go the dogs..YO MAMMA..what kind of a show is that..fuck it(flip channel)phew..elisha cuthbert is hot..fuckin shit..holy cow..holy shit I am moving to canada..oh wait this is like a typing dejavu..i mean i wrote something even before i thought about it!holy cow..yawn, fuck someone must be real bored if they reached till here..holy cow..ohkay I am bored..typing dejavu..btw, why is dejavy not said like dehavu,...whatever whoda**** cares..atleast I discovered "typing dehavu" today..fuck, I am good!

Tommorow I am gonna run as if there's no tommorow, tommorow I am gonna get up take a shower, put on my running shoes and run..its been a freaking one month since I did that and I feel bad to my bones..I am gonna get up early and run. Thats my anthem for the week to get me going. BTW, I shot a +43 in golf today playing 9-hole..man do I suck or wat..its the 2nd and the 3rd shot thats fucking me up..This game is tohtally difficult to have control..hats off Vijay singh, Tiger woods..dunno how you guys do it. The only saving grace was that I did better than I did last time, improved by 6 shots but hey i think it'd take me atleast 50 games to get to +10-15. My eyes are sleepy and the golf course has taken its toll..I am off to bed! tah tah

Of past and past tenses

So, I've been reconnecting with lost friends this week..and I am amazed at how often one can suddenly forget about all the people they've come across in life..I did!! So after months, I got on to my MSN and Yahoo and all the other chatormanics..fished out phone numbers and gave them all a call or a ola..it sure was amazing listening to those voices and living some times in your life all over again..great to know that everybody's doing awesome...but sadly everybody in India seems to be almost always busy with life, or getting from one place to another..there's no fucking way in hell I am ever spending so much time in daily travel..I mean what'll happen to my music and all the silly things I do if I spend 2 hours stuck in traffic daily!

Lo, I digress, nyways..so I called up an old flame yesterday just to say hi, and ended up talking for more than an hour..Its been close to 4 years now since we went our ways and 2 since we talked..but well she seems just the same..glad that she's doing awesome! called up my best friend in bbay and she seems like she's finding her foothold too, getting the hang of the demon bbay can be. Talking to people back home reminds me of how much I've changed since I've come here, how I used to be and the things I used to do so very differently. My music's changed, my keyboard playing has been the greatest plus..something that I would'ntve been able to pick up in India. Though my effort to find myself still continues..I am really fucked up you know, so it takes time!:-)..nyways I think I;ll call it a night and write some more sometime later..maybe tommorow. I think I am gonna make it a habit to write something down everynight..helps when you go through them a year later..tah tah!

Geoffrey Keezer and onions

here's funny as hell article(actually a letter Geoffrey wrote to a friend) after he told him that his recording had made his(the friends') grandma cry..read on..something interesting
btw, GK is one of the most amazing pianists out there, he's good..damn good


You think the people you work with are strange? Sometimes REALLY TALENTED musicians have a serious kink in their inner guitar strings. I've started musical experiments with Geoffrey Keezer, a brilliant Bay Area pianist. After he left my studio in Hawai'i, my mom came over for a visit and I played her some of the music we had been recording. My dear, sainted, 81 years young mother, (and revered Hawaiian kupuna) Nona Beamer, was so moved by what she heard, that she started crying.

I sent Geoffrey an email about this. Here is his response...

Aloha Keola,

I must admit the truth, the "crying" that your Mom experienced when she listened to the music is really the successful result of a new stealth technology (I got Justin to download the plug-in when you were out of the room) called "Onionlabs E-Motomatic", which secretly encodes an audio form of DNA corresponding to the mild sulfuric acid gas which is released when you cut into an onion, causing tearing. Here is a bit of the history of this technology, copied from a quick Google search this morning:

In the early 70's, two young Dutch scientists, Victor Van Hooversnooten and Hans Roostergouda were working the night shift at Windmill Studios in Rotterdam, a small but friendly recording facility which was famous for producing Dutch pop hits such as "I Love You So Much I'd Cut Off My Ear and Mail it To You" and "Let's Get Noodstop". One night while waiting through the tedious process of printing time code, the boys decided to cook some breakfast. They went to the small kitchen and began to prepare their usual stoner late-night fare of cheese, bread, pickled herring, fried potatoes and onions. It was while chopping the onions that Van Hooversnooten had an epiphany (as is often the case under the influence of "Dutch coffee"). "Hans", he coughed, "if WE could somehow put these ONIONS into the music itself, we could make people cry whenever they hear our songs. The more people cry, the better they will think our songs are, and the more records we'll sell! We'll be millionaires and can retire to Belgium, or even Luxembourg!"

So, the two boys set out to isolate the chemical reactions that cause us to cry when onions are cut. They discovered that it works something like this: After peeling some outside layers off, you slice right into the onion. The knife breaks open some onion cells. Inside some of these cells are enzymes called allinases. In the air, the allinases break down some of the other substances, like amino acid sulfoxides, released from the onion cells. The amino acid sulfoxides form sulfenic acids, which rearrange themselves in a flash into a volatile gas. This gas flows to your eyes and reacts with the water in them. A chemical reaction occurs, producing a mild form of sulfuric acid. The sensitive nerve endings in your eyes are irritated, and more water is produced in the form of tears. The tears are trying to neutralize the irritant. Sulfenic acids also form odorous thiosulfinates, which are responsible for the strong odor we smell from onions.

Quickly, they got to work. While tedious after-hours studio work fell behind schedule, the boys spent hours analyzing the chemical components of onions, trying yellow onions, red onions, white onions, green onions, chives, leeks, and even the unpopular Stink onion (not an officially recognized breed, but quite potent nonetheless). The first experiments were somewhat successful - they simply cut an onion if half and rubbed it directly onto the 2-inch tape, causing the gases to be released during playback. While it caused them to cry in the studio, they couldn't figure out how to transfer the onion juice onto vinyl for mass production. It would simply be too expensive and time consuming to rub onions directly onto thousands of LPs for the mass market. One idea was to distribute the records with "special packaging", simply stapling a small onion onto each record jacket, with instructions to the listener to apply the onion immediately before playing the record. While this worked OK for the first 2 or 3 spins, eventually the juice would dry and lose its effectiveness, thereby diminishing the ability of the music to cause crying. The main problem was with Radio. In those days, most people heard their favorite song on the radio before they rushed out to the store to buy the 45. Even if the DJ rubbed onions onto his own vinyl, and cried profusely, how would the thousands of listeners experience the same effect?

(Young Stoners, Van Hooversnooten and Hans Roostergouda, soon to be inventors of the E-Motomatic)

The answer came a year later, when Van Hooversnooten and Roostergouda met a Finnish computer engineer named Jaako Jarvinen, who was employed by IBM as a mainframe programmer. Jarvinen was working on an early version of computer voice technology, and was very knowledgeable in the area of converting electronic signals into audio. He also drank a lot of beer and was an expert snowboarder, which really had nothing to do with anything. The three young scientists hit if off immediately, and came up with a plan to encode the essential building blocks of sulfenic acids and thiosulfinates into a very high frequency, almost subliminal audio signal that would be undetectable by human ears but would piss off the hell out of dogs. When the human brain, through the little-understood process of synaesthesia (a mixing of the senses causing a person to experience such things as colored hearing, gustatory sights, and most importantly auditory smells), subliminally decoded the signal, it would interpret it as onion gas and cause immediate crying. And the crying, of course, would cause the listener to believe that he or she was being emotionally moved by the music. Eureka, they had found it!

(Finnish computer engineer; Jaako Jarvinen takes a moment for relaxation)

Of course their early trials were not without mishaps. One night, there was a big snowstorm and their nightly onion delivery truck didn't make it. Out of onions, but eager to press on, the boys decided to try chipotle peppers instead (don't ask me why there were chipotle peppers in Holland in the 1970's please). While the studio was infused with a delicious smoky flavor, it caused major eye irritation and sneezing. Pickled herring didn't work at all. Aged Gouda met with similarly disastrous results.

It wasn't until the early 80's that the three stoners finally perfected their protype E-motomatic technology, enhanced greatly by the digital revolution. The first major artist to utilize this technology was, oddly enough, the Pointer Sisters, whose hit "Neutron Dance" released an encoded onion signal every 30 seconds over the course of the 3 1/2 minute song. It was perhaps not the wisest choice, as the lyrics repeat over and over, "I'm so happy!" Women all over the world were crying to this song, and their boyfriends and husbands were consoling them, saying, "What's the matter, honey? Why are you crying?" to which they would answer, "I don't know! I'm so happy! I'm crying because I'm so happy I guess! Isn't this song wonderful?" Other markets caught on, and creatively tailored their audio smells to their demographic. For example, the Thai music industry began encoding scallions and lemongrass onto their records. The French actually figured out how to encode French onion soup. And a major pop record in Hawai'i, Keola Beamer's "Sweet Maui Moon" contained code for; you guessed it, sweet Maui onions.

So there you have it. With the advent of Protools and it's multitude of expensive plug-ins (don't worry, Justin only got the trial version, but we had to rummage through your wallet and provide your name, address, social security #, all of your credit cards, birth date, name of your high school, favorite pet (that was easy), blood type, fingerprints and stool sample - don't ask me how I got that) it's now easier than ever to make people cry with your own music. The Onionlabs E-Motomatic (tm) is the latest innovation in Emotion Automation Technology (EAT). The newest cross-platform version lets you choose the level of crying from a pull down menu, ranging from "Slight Moistness" to "Blubbering Idiot". I think Justin went for the middle of the road on this one.

Thought you might want to know.

Love,
Geoffrey Von Cheezerhoover

So i stumbled on a song I used to listen frequently about 5-6 years ago and its just awesome, to get the whole essence of the song you've to know hindi, urdu and arabic..the songs about a lover singing about his love and consequences which he knows about but has no control over...this is a poem by the pakistani poet Hazrat Shah Niaz, sung by Sufi singer Abida Parveen..here are the lyrics..check it out!

Ishq Mein Tere, Abida Parveen

Ishq mein tere koh\'e gham,
Sar pe liya, jo ho so ho, (2X)
Aish o nishat\'e zindagi,
Chhor diya, jo ho so ho. (2X)
Ishq mein tere koh\'e gham.
Aqal ke madrase se uth,  (2X)
Ishq ke mae-kade mein aa,
Jam\'e fana o bekhudi,
Ab to piya, jo ho so ho. (2X)
Ishq mein tere koh\'e gham.
Hijr ki jo museebatein,
Arz ki uske rouh-barouh, (2X)
Naz o eda se muskura,
Kehne lega, jo ho so ho (2X)
Ishq mein tere koh\'e gham.
Hasti ke is saraab mein, (2X)
raat ke raat bass rahe,
Subhe adam huwa namood,
Paon utha, jo ho so ho. (2X)
Ishq mein tere koh\'e gham,
Jam\'e fana o bekhudi, (2X)
Ab to piya, jo ho so ho. (2X)

Thesis hesist esisth sisthe isthes sthesi thesis

started writing my thesis this year with a goal of writing atleast every weekend, so that I have something substantial done by the time I really have to write it up. This year is gonna be pretty xciting, I've a lot on my plate but I think I can get it all done..all I need to do is put some good hard work over the summer and not let the sun distract me..learnin latex now..thanks to Param and Aru, have had a pretty good start and think I can make more sense outta it in a week or so..nyways 2:30 am and I am off to bed..i hope i fuckin wakeup at 7 in the morning coz I've put two alarms and I fuckin better waje up!@!!!!!